I really should throw my phone on the charger but I dont feel like getting up. Once my legs go numb then I will. I have a REALLY bad back, so my legs go numb when I sit -_-
So, my fiance's side of the family is celebrating Kaylees 1st Birthday tomorrow. We are a month and 10 days late. Her birthday was December 20th but with all the chaos of the holidays we decided to wait till later to set up her party. But its really pathetic because my fiance would not commit to a day to celebrate it so his mom finally picked a pretty random weekend to do it. Which is fine by me because he cancelled her first party weekend we picked. Anyways, her theme is Tinkerbell. She LOVES Tinkerbell! Soon, we need to start baking the cupcakes, since tomorrow will be too stressful since all the family will be here. Hopefully theres no fight that will break out since a few of the family members are not getting along. -___- But its her day so I hope people realize that.
Insomnia is going to be the death of me. The fact that I can never sleep and that I consistently have nerve pain down my right leg is really starting to eat away at me. I feel like I'm losing my mind and myself. I dont feel like the original Alison. Who I am. Hopefully surgery will help it and not make it worse. Plus I am not allowed to work, which sucks because I like what I do. I dont really like where I work, but I like making people feel better about themselves? So have you figured out what I am? Nope? Yep? Well I am a makeup artist/consultant/ whatever you want to call it. And i really do love it. I am not one of those stuck up makeup artists either. Since I am "plus size" and so young it honestly makes things harder at work. I will write a different blog about it later.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thinking.
This is whats trailing through my brain...
I really should turn the light on, its quite dark in here.
I wonder if kaylee will sleep through the night?
My hair is pretty freaking dark.
I need a haircut.
I wish the red underneath was redder.
I wonder how many people are coming to Kaylee's birthday party tomorrow?
I hate being treated like a kid.
Yep, basically everything thats on my mind.
Im not real sure what to write about tonight.
I mean I could write about anything.
Im pretty much an open book.
Once you get to know me you will understand the way I am.
But dont judge me now, you dont even know me or my story.
The one thing i dont get is how "Famous" or "Popular" some of these people get.
Like youtubers are just normal people, and viners are just random people.
And even some of the mommas on my social media have like 10k+ followers.
I just dont get it.
They are all normal people.
For example, some of the moms dont even post anything, or they post normal stuff like the rest of us.
The only conclusion I have come up with is.......
They must be prettier, or more attractive, or have peircings, or have tattooes, or somehow a rebellion.
I dont know. I do know Im just your typical teen mom with a child that has Cerebral Palsy.
But I would rather have no followers and not deal with drama than have a ton and be hated or always having some type a drama going on. Theres too much drama in real life to deal with, why add more stress
from the interenet?
Sorry this post is kinda all over the place, I just kept thinking of stuff. Oh well, i promised myself to post whatever I write and not delete it.
I really should turn the light on, its quite dark in here.
I wonder if kaylee will sleep through the night?
My hair is pretty freaking dark.
I need a haircut.
I wish the red underneath was redder.
I wonder how many people are coming to Kaylee's birthday party tomorrow?
I hate being treated like a kid.
Yep, basically everything thats on my mind.
Im not real sure what to write about tonight.
I mean I could write about anything.
Im pretty much an open book.
Once you get to know me you will understand the way I am.
But dont judge me now, you dont even know me or my story.
The one thing i dont get is how "Famous" or "Popular" some of these people get.
Like youtubers are just normal people, and viners are just random people.
And even some of the mommas on my social media have like 10k+ followers.
I just dont get it.
They are all normal people.
For example, some of the moms dont even post anything, or they post normal stuff like the rest of us.
The only conclusion I have come up with is.......
They must be prettier, or more attractive, or have peircings, or have tattooes, or somehow a rebellion.
I dont know. I do know Im just your typical teen mom with a child that has Cerebral Palsy.
But I would rather have no followers and not deal with drama than have a ton and be hated or always having some type a drama going on. Theres too much drama in real life to deal with, why add more stress
from the interenet?
Sorry this post is kinda all over the place, I just kept thinking of stuff. Oh well, i promised myself to post whatever I write and not delete it.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Therapy!!!
Today was one of the days Kaylee has therapy and she did wonderful!
She has started to crawl on all fours instead of army crawl!
Im so proud of my little butterfly <3
I do have a blog on tumblr called Raising My Butterfly so look me up!
I made homemade salsa today! Im not a good cook and Ive never really cooked, but since im not working right now I figured I might as well get in the kitchen and make some stuff so everyday I try to make something new. And today was a success! Even my mom said it was restaurant worthy!
So, Medi Cal decided I was CCS eligible. Which means all of my medical changes. I have back surgery scheduled for Febuary 7th and now its all on hold!!! Im very aggravated with it. So CCS is California Children Services, and its for children with disabilities. I am almost 20, in a month and a 1/2 and ive been placed in it. Kaylee is in CCS!!!! Its kinda awkward for me to think we are in the same thing -_- Thanks to obama, apperently im still kid till im 21. Unbelievable. I was livid when my back doctor called me to tell me this. Ohh well, atleast it could help me with future stuff. Since im probably gonna have to learn how to walk again after all these surgeries. yayyyyy. not. Thank God Kaylee does not need any surgeries as of right now. That would just break my heart.
She has started to crawl on all fours instead of army crawl!
Im so proud of my little butterfly <3
I do have a blog on tumblr called Raising My Butterfly so look me up!
I made homemade salsa today! Im not a good cook and Ive never really cooked, but since im not working right now I figured I might as well get in the kitchen and make some stuff so everyday I try to make something new. And today was a success! Even my mom said it was restaurant worthy!
So, Medi Cal decided I was CCS eligible. Which means all of my medical changes. I have back surgery scheduled for Febuary 7th and now its all on hold!!! Im very aggravated with it. So CCS is California Children Services, and its for children with disabilities. I am almost 20, in a month and a 1/2 and ive been placed in it. Kaylee is in CCS!!!! Its kinda awkward for me to think we are in the same thing -_- Thanks to obama, apperently im still kid till im 21. Unbelievable. I was livid when my back doctor called me to tell me this. Ohh well, atleast it could help me with future stuff. Since im probably gonna have to learn how to walk again after all these surgeries. yayyyyy. not. Thank God Kaylee does not need any surgeries as of right now. That would just break my heart.
Cerebral Palsy with Hemiplegia
What is it? What exactly happens? Will she get better? Will she get worse?
She will be fine.
She will out grow it.
Its nothing to worry about.
OH stop, its not bad.
Ive heard it all. All of these. The questions and the statements.
Kaylee has Cerebral Palsy with Hemiplegia.
Cerebral Palsy is when a child has lack of oxygen either in the womb, during labor, or sometime up to the age of 1 or 2. I cant quite remember the time frame, since Kaylees happened at birth.
Anyways, I had a HORRIBLE delivery. We are NOT sure what caused it, other than we know it happened during delivery. She can improve. Not necessary get fully recovered, there is no cure, but she can improve. She will not get worse. But it will be with her for the rest of her life. She has more of the mild side of Cerebral Palsy so she will be able to walk, we just don't know when. Hemiplegia is when it affect one side of the body, for example, Kaylee's right side doesn't not work as well as her left.
Now, for these ignorant statements I have gotten. This are just a few Ive been told that have irritated me the most. She will improve but never be "fine", it will always be with her. There is NO WAY to outgrow it. It affects her brain. How do you not worry about your child??? She is my child, and i will worry however much I want. All you have to worry about its going clubbing and getting drunk. You think I'm stupid for worry but you can worry about bullshit? Right. Ok... and maybe its not that bad but it didn't happen to you and it isn't affecting your life in anyways so don't tell me its not that bad until you know what you what your talking about.
Most people do not know what Cerebral Palsy is.
It is not contagious.
Do your research before judging people because you dont know what they are going through.
She will be fine.
She will out grow it.
Its nothing to worry about.
OH stop, its not bad.
Ive heard it all. All of these. The questions and the statements.
Kaylee has Cerebral Palsy with Hemiplegia.
Cerebral Palsy is when a child has lack of oxygen either in the womb, during labor, or sometime up to the age of 1 or 2. I cant quite remember the time frame, since Kaylees happened at birth.
Anyways, I had a HORRIBLE delivery. We are NOT sure what caused it, other than we know it happened during delivery. She can improve. Not necessary get fully recovered, there is no cure, but she can improve. She will not get worse. But it will be with her for the rest of her life. She has more of the mild side of Cerebral Palsy so she will be able to walk, we just don't know when. Hemiplegia is when it affect one side of the body, for example, Kaylee's right side doesn't not work as well as her left.
Now, for these ignorant statements I have gotten. This are just a few Ive been told that have irritated me the most. She will improve but never be "fine", it will always be with her. There is NO WAY to outgrow it. It affects her brain. How do you not worry about your child??? She is my child, and i will worry however much I want. All you have to worry about its going clubbing and getting drunk. You think I'm stupid for worry but you can worry about bullshit? Right. Ok... and maybe its not that bad but it didn't happen to you and it isn't affecting your life in anyways so don't tell me its not that bad until you know what you what your talking about.
Most people do not know what Cerebral Palsy is.
It is not contagious.
Do your research before judging people because you dont know what they are going through.
Kaylee.
My baby, my world.
She is my everything.
I don't know where I'd be without her.
I can't imagine my life without her.
God, I love her so much. Even when life throws me way to much, I always knows I can look forward to seeing her smiling face. She keeps me going through thick and thin. I can't believe how fast and how big she is getting. Ahh I wish she could stay little forever <3
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
This is MY blog.
This is where I will post what I want and how I feel and if people dont like it then they dont have to read it.
I hate when people try to dictate my life, my feelings, everything.
Anyways, on another note, I wouldn't mind just dropping my life here and moving somewhere else with my child. That would honestly be ideal right now.i wish I could just start new.
I hate when people try to dictate my life, my feelings, everything.
Anyways, on another note, I wouldn't mind just dropping my life here and moving somewhere else with my child. That would honestly be ideal right now.i wish I could just start new.
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